Inhabiting the film shoot: an interview with Holly Pillsbury

What drew you to the role of ALI?

I think it is easy to paint Ali as someone who misses her husband (JASON)  dearly, and wishes that he wasn’t so far away and take her for as much as that. But, I was more interested in her internal war, the feeling of helplessness. I mean a lot of regular people in North America feel that way when they get a better glimpse into the underworld of human atrocities. It forces you to remove a layer of protection and really take in life for what it is. I was interested in exploring the depth of pain, isolation and rage this woman felt in a world that affords her plenty of rights, stability and opportunity.

Photo: Holly Pillsbury as ALI on the set of She Has A Name 

You played another key role on the film as the Script Supervisor.  How did you balance the two roles and did they feed into each other in any way? 

Balance consisted of scheduling my time appropriately, breathing and allowing myself space to refocus when I switched between the two. The two roles feed into each other in one obvious area: script analysis. Every actor knows that script analysis helps you define what drives your character, other characters, and the story. As an actor and a script supervisor, I think the work is at its best when nothing is vague. Specificity! The more knowledge you gain about the story you are telling, the better creative work you produce. Basically, both roles required me to ask tough questions of myself and others, but it was worth it because this story demanded that level of commitment.

Independent filmmaking affords the opportunity to do things you might not otherwise do on a larger production. What were some of the stand-out experiences for you during your time on She Has A Name? 

One day we needed to capture a scene in the cab of a moving truck between two actors. Dan, Matt, Bob, Lisa and I needed to be in close proximity to the shot for various reasons. So we all piled into the back of a container truck with a running diesel generator. It was very difficult to breathe, so I played the kid game “who-can-hold-their-breath-the-longest” with myself! The truth is, it is almost impossible to do that when you are working, so the fumes got to me pretty quickly. I think we all felt a little light headed afterwards. Aside from the fume high, racing down a highway in the back of a giant container bin was pretty thrilling.

Photo: Holly Pillsbury as Script Supervisor goes over a scene with actress Deborah Fennelly (MARTA) on the set of She Has A Name in Thailand

Tell us about your training and background and how it prepared you for this shoot.

I gained a BA in Theatre which afforded me a broad and intimate understanding of people, story, design and long, long hours. After school (since it has been a while), I produced my own projects, events, and acted in a variety roles for various companies. Collaborative projects being some of my favourites. I continue to study technical proficiency. That sounds silly to say, but really, whether in front of camera or behind, the more techniques you know the more toys you bring to the playground. As an actor, it helped to have techniques to open up a raw emotionality, which was essential to bring humanity to Ali beyond my own instincts. I mean for me, those were life-giving tools to have, as I was playing across from a tablet screen. As a script supervisor, my background in producing, writing, stage management and acting helped me stay organized and on script throughout the production. Plus, a good sleep and coffee really goes a long way.

What was one or a few of your highlights from your time working on location in Thailand?

Oh my, I have so many for various different reasons. What to choose?! Okay, one personal highlight happened for me at the tail end of an incredible night shoot on-location in the country lands of Kanchanaburi (gorgeous province, a must in Thailand). I was walking back to set after grabbing some much needed coffee, I looked out ahead of me and saw the sun come up over rolling mountains, the clouds reflecting vibrant pinks, purples and yellows, the sugar cane slapping in the wind and I thought to myself, STOP. Just stand here and experience this. Make this moment a purposed memory, because some moments cannot be captured or created, they just happen.

Photo: Holly Pillsbury behind the monitor with directors Matthew and Daniel Kooman on the set of She Has A Name 

Did you learn anything about the world of human trafficking that you didn’t know before you traveled to Thailand or worked on this film?

It made me even more acutely aware that western people are either naively unaware or consciously turning away their eyes to the savage sexual legacy they are creating in other areas of the world. The conversations we have had (or lack of) around sexual abuse, assault, rape, pedophilia, pornography, and sexual violence have directly influenced the continued increase of demand for sex trafficking and services in other parts of the globe. As much as I liked to believe I contributed to deep and meaningful conversations surrounding these destructive realities in our culture, I realized I came up short.

Ultimately, my knowledgeable opinions on this issue were limited because my western culture (North America) allowed me to believe that what I knew was “good enough”. Whether or not we are less-experienced facing this carnage shouldn’t matter, but the odds for intervention become slimmer when we silence ourselves by being content with round-about conversations on sexual dysfunction. Yes, none of us wants to be that girl or that guy to bring this up at the dinner table, but if we don’t we approve of moral ambiguity within our culture. This attitude has already historically proven to have horrific consequences. One of my favourite quotes comes from playwright George Bernard Shaw, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” My dream when leaving Thailand and coming home was to see the proliferation of the unreasonable man through this film. It still is.

Learn more about Holly by following her on Twitter (@mrsmocibob) Instagram (@mrsmocibob) and her whacked out YouTube channel